The Facts of Life
by sweet-destiny3
Summary: The Xnuts have crossed the border between friendly and friendlier towards their redheaded housemate. Find out what happens when telepathy meets sex. Click above. Story inside.


Disclaimer: Dreaming is not illegal.

Author's Note: Hey fellow JOTT lovers. We haven't communicated in a while. But I'm back with a one-shot. Thought of in one day, written in one day, and posted in that same day. The reason I haven't been appearing lately is because my last story was my first Harry Potter fic. Those Harry Potter lovers better go read it. Secondly, I've been reading the sixth Harry Potter book. And thirdly, because I'm recently working on an original story. But I have not abandoned fanfiction. : ) Enjoy. And review, you know the drill.

Thank you to pinkchick who pushed me to write a story in between my other one. She has a new story, go read it, it's funny.

THE FACTS OF LIFE

We were the X-men, fighting off evil, wrongdoers, and the local bandits. But things always happened in between those times. "Normal things", you are thinking, but you are wrong. I once believed the good professor--an all around good-guy--when he presented his dream of society accepting us as normal human beings. But then I lived with the ill-conceived mutants I've called family for too long. What ever brought the good professor to his conclusion I will never be able to figure out.

Professor Xavier had given a nervous smile that day and left the room silently. He had smiled nervously and just left! No lectures, no words of wisdom (although I was second in line to that). Now, for those that don't already know, he never smiles nervously. That expression of knowing everything that mankind could possibly know, had disappeared. And what for, you are thinking. All for the facts of life.

This is Jean Grey-Summers, and this is the true story of what happens when you live in a house full of nuts. Naturally, I would not call them "nuts"--I was and am to this day Jean Grey-Summers. But you would call them nuts too if a sixteen year old boy informed you of your own sex life! Let us just say that I had been mortified.

"I mean, the reason you and Scott are together, you know forever and stuff, is because you have mind blowing sex," Jamie, otherwise known as Multiple, said very casually, as if it were a statement you heard everyday. Jamie, the clumsy little boy I used to know, is not so clumsy or little anymore.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, a little taken aback by his sheer bluntness. My small mouth doubled in size as it dropped open and my green eyes bulged with mortification as I peered over the daily newspaper.

"Well, you're telekinetic, aren't you? Just imagine how accessible everything could be---especially in the most urgent times if you know what I mean," Jamie said as he bounced his eyebrows up and down, obviously indicating something crude. "Not to mention telepathy. You both feel what each other is feeling during intimacy and experience each other's sensatio--"

"Jamie! First of all, none of this is any of your business!" My red hair seemed like it was on fire because I knew my head was about to explode. "Secondly, I don't know what they're teaching you in that new sex ed. class, but relationships are not solely based on sex!"

I was on my feet now without even realizing it. Jamie looked a little scared but continued nonetheless, looking even more interested.

"But you wouldn't have a relationship without sex. That's like, like---" he gasped, "suicide."

Damn. Was I like this at his age? Damn damn. Was _Scott_ like this at his age?

"Mr., I never want to hear the word suicide in this house. Especially out of a sixteen year old. The seven o'clock news is enough for me. And being a mutant is enough for you. All of you!" I exclaimed as I turned to everyone in the kitchen who were pretending not to listen. I had forgotten to mention that a few other mutants were listening. My face was burning and I could not help notice how motherly I sounded. "Besides, you have to be able to communicate outside of the bedroom."

"Yeah, to get to the steps that lead up to sex," Bobby said casually from across the breakfast table. Rogue slapped him with her gloved hand and threatened to do so with her other, which was palely shining in the white light of the large kitchen. At least I could count on Rogue to be mature, even if she was dating Gambit. Oops, maybe I thunk too loudly? Thunk? I really need to hang out in the infirmary more than with these blasted X-nuts!

"Hey, Jean," Kitty began, blue eyes twinkling. I had always admired her cheeriness; what some people called an issue of being overly happy. But now I questioned how she could be so happy at a time like this? I turned to her, and tried to smile. "Could you, like, pass the eggs---I mean, like, the real eggs, not the bodily eggs---ugh! You know what I mean!"

That's right, it was not Rogue I was worried about. It was Kitty and her furry blue friend sitting next to her. They had not seemed to grow up…not when they were together at least.

"Ja, vould you pass za sex---I mean Chex. Pass za cereal and milk for heaven's sake! You know, za milk from za cow, not…oh, za milk from za carton! Please," Kurt said as his three fingered hand landed on his forehead with a slam.

"Alright, listen up _kids_ and listen good," I said as the knife I had been using to cut an apple was clutched in my fist.

"Ah feel a lecture comin' on," Rogue stated with a roll of her eyes until I noticed her noting my angriness and my potential based on my ancient history. Not to mention the knife in my hand.

"Scott and I comprehend with each other's needs, primal or not, with or without the sometimes cursed mutant ability of telepathy. Scott and I grasp the concept that sex requires two people to connect mentally and emotionally first and foremost. Note that I said two people, not one hundred," I spat, shooting daggers with my greens at all of them. My voice was tight and strict, but very slow and calm. "The physical aftermath of the situation at hand, hopefully after proper marital ceremonies, cannot be reached unless two hearts desire one another---again emotionally and mentally, not just physically. Although beauty is---"

"In the eye of the beholder," Kitty interrupted, mimicking my behavior. "We, like, know, Jean. Jeez."

"But without sex, there's no relationship," Jamie repeated as if I had not heard him the first time! "And I just think it's awesome that you and Scott mentally feel each other's org---"

"Jamie, please! Mental image, not so good," Rogue said holding her hand in the air to stop him. She took the words straight out of my mouth…somewhat. "Talkin' about sex and marriage would appeal to mah fancy if I was born differently. But if ya'll hadn't noticed, I can't engage in this conversation any longer."

"Sorry, Rogue," Jamie said apologetically as he allowed her to take the lead instead. These mutants are unbelievable! And like I said before, nuts!

"So, you and Scott ever talk dirty telepathically?" Rogue questioned, placing her chin in her palm.

I shook my head, eyebrows arched. "Ugh, no! Even if we did, I wouldn't tell you. Scott and I are strictly professional when it comes to missions, just so you know. Yes, Kitty, I heard you. You were projecting very loudly."

"Except zat time vhere you and Scott showed up ten minutes late to za X-jet," Kurt said as he broke out into a fit of laughter, followed by none other than Kitty Pryde.

Deviant kids. "We were…checking the mission again. You know Cyclops, the leader and his strategies. We were wondering why everyone else didn't stay," I said very calmly. I wanted to pour the milk over all of their heads, but I had unfortunately ignored that little voice in my head.

"Ya should have fixed yo' hair before you came on the jet," Rogue spat out, trying to hold back her laugh.

"And Scott's, like, lopsided visor," Kitty giggled hysterically, along with Kurt.

Not to my surprise, Jamie was on the floor, holding his stomach.

My face was as red as my apple. And to make matters worse, there was a male voice in my head that I recognized all too well. For that second in time I had wondered whether Scott was not telepathic to know that this was the worse time to connect…mentally.

__

Hey gorgeous, Scott's voice rang in my head. The idiot. If only he knew what these little deviants had been talking about. _I'm done fixing Logan's motorcycle, wanna join me in the garage? I'm pretty sure the back seat of the blue Mercedes is comfortable enough._ His voice was low and sultry and so very alluring. I suddenly felt my face turn red for a whole different reason.

__

Scott, these mutants that we call family think that our sex life is interesting, with the telepathy and all. It's so embarrassing, I thought back leaning against the glass window, ignoring everyone's laughs.

__

Isn't it? I mean our connection makes you scream louder than---

__

Scott! If people knew how you were when you're trying to feel me up---ugh, they would have to slap you!

__

That's why I only share this tone with you. And something else too. Let me tell you what I'm planning to do to you. In detail…

__

Scott! I screamed in my head as if the X-nuts would hear me. It was deafening to my ears. _Maybe the X-nuts were right after all. But if I ever hear them discuss my sex life again, I'm going to take action._

__

Jean, they'll never really know how it feels. All they have is talk. And talk is cheap, Scott thought in his X-men leader voice. It was kind of cute.

__

Then why are you trying to feel me up with talk? And in the early morning no less. We haven't, you know, in the early morning for a while now, I thought playfully and seductively all at once.

__

Not all talk is cheap. So, let me tell you what I'm going to do with you…

…Ten minutes later Scott was toppled over me in the back of the blue Mercedes and two hours later I was toppled over him, both of our chests heaving. Five more minutes later, oh---I was not counting---his head was on my chest as I ran my hands up and down his back slowly, tracing the little goose bumps on the way.

"I was blessed with telepathy," I whispered softly as I gave his chestnut hair a lingering kiss. "But it wouldn't be the same with anyone else."

"Tell me that it would have been just as good without your telepathy," Scott whispered into my neck.

"It would have been just as good without your---I mean my telepathy," I said, tightening my legs around his waist softly.

"See, you can't even tell the difference between you and me. And not just when we're having sex," Scott said as he smiled into my neck and gave it a kiss. "Other men have a chance with other telepathic women."

"Mmmhmm," I murmured as Scott looked up at my face, realization etched all over it.

"Professor Xavier's a telepath," he said, stating the obvious.

"Yeah," I said with a laugh, not understanding his message.

"A very powerful telepath."

It was late afternoon. The sun was setting behind the mansion after a very long day. I knew the sex was too good for something bad not to happen.

I retreated to my room to get my lab coat and busy myself in the infirmary. Scott said he needed to fix some things in the X-jet and the equipment was in our room too. So we both retreated to our room, no harm done.

On the way to our room, there was a hump in the path. I don't mean that to be taken in a crude manner, but it was disturbing. Very disturbing, to be truthful. How would you feel if you had caught your teacher and loyal friend making animalistic noises with a certain weather witch. Not a pretty mental image.

Logan sniffed, Logan sensed. An hour later Storm picked up Scott and Logan picked me up. Literally, muttering only two words, "C'mon Jeannie". Being very grown-up and responsible--and I'm being sarcastic--they brought us to Professor Xavier's office, where he was sitting calmly in his wheelchair, looking over important documents.

"Logan, why, may I ask, are you carrying Jean?" he asked calmly with a smile on his face, I might add, as Logan dropped me on my rear. How rude! "Is something the matter?"

"That's what I want to know," I said, dusting myself off and smoothing out my lab coat. "I was in the middle of an autopsy."

"I was talkin' to Scooter over here and he said somethin' that got me thinkin'. Not to mention a disturbance right outside 'Ro's room," he said gruffly. Raven haired, short but muscular he had never scared me one bit. But I felt Scott had a little worrisome look on his face. "Chuck, ya said something about not being able to sleep one night, blamin' it on insomnia or a headache or somethin'."

"Yes, Professor, I remember that day perfectly. Several days in fact," Storm said as she leaned her long and slim body of ebony against the small bookshelf.

"Yes, well I had a headache and was not able to shut my eyes. Is that a crime?" the good professor asked, not taking the hint like Scott and I suddenly had.

"Does our bedroom---uhm---" I began.

"Activities," Scott said awkwardly.

"Seem louder to you---" Logan said with a slightly pinkish face. First time I have ever seen such a sight.

"Being a very powerful telepath and all," Storm finished for everyone. I thought I heard everyone breathe a sigh of relief.

The professor said nothing. I witnessed something awkward from him for the second time today. He never said anything. His bald head along with his face were turning red though. I knew he wanted to say, "the ups and downs of being a telepath. Unfortunately, you caught me in one the downs". But he was silent. He wheeled himself forward slowly and in between the four of the "adults" without a word. I could have sworn drool was about to fall out of all of our mouths because of the sudden shock we had just registered.

Logan looked to Ororo as if she had all the answers. "What just happened here?"

Less than two weeks later, the Professor had built a private room on the west wing of the mansion for Logan and Storm and a private room on the east wing for Scott and I.

Very private.


End file.
